i hope that your the one....

if not,
you are the prototype.

we'll tiptoe to the sun
& do things.
i know you like.

i think im in love, again.



this is what spoke to me most.
so this is what i posted.

dnt get it?
not supposed to.

=]

She's Out of my Life.

my first heartbreak was on august 19, 2009.

my older sister told me that her & my best friend were together.
a best friend that, after 5 years, had managed to win my heart without even trying.
Or maybe she had tried...but i never noticed.
a best friend who got all the "girlfriend royalties" without the physical aspect.
a best friend who knew me inside & out, front & back.
late night drunken phone calls, 3 years of valentine's days.
in my eyes she was mine.
Granted we were best friends, but we both had an understanding:
from the outside looking in everyone had their own opinions of us.
"are you guys fuckin" or "are you together" or "friends with benefits?"
were ALWAYS asked.
but we would both just laugh & say "nah --- we're best friends."
she could do no wrong in my eyes.
over 5 years, i sat through girlfriends, booty calls, & baby mamas.
i was a good friend...

& its funny that one person, my sister, could step in & change up my whole world.
by knowingly making a pass at....her.
not any other girl....but her.
yes, we were best friends --- but psh...really?
she'll never meet anymore of my friends.
she made that decision herself....

the more i think about it, the more answers i want,
the more my heart breaks.
after 2 months i still can't put my finger on it.
i don't cry anymore...just wonder.
shortie is still my best friend.
my sister & i are more like associates.
my heart still hurts --- but its healing up.