friends with money.

its funny because even now it continues
to amaze me and leave me in a baffle
when i knew before i even started that
it wasnt right...but...i couldnt fight it.

ugh...it sucks to think that all your hopes
and dreams are just that...when your younger
it doesnt dawn on you that the way you plan
your life to be might not turn out.
*shrugs*

ask me if 6 years ago i thought i would be
dealing with the things i am now?
not even.
but ive grown...and learned.

the past few months have been learning experiences for me. im still learning.changing.growing...
and its so hard.
too hard.



bye for now.
*waving*

its 5;15am....

and i havent even been to sleep yet.
been up since about 2pm....no naps or nothin. *shrugs*
my mind is occupied....with lots of things.

i saw a friend today.
and yesterday.
and the day before that.
this move...smh....its goin well...but idk if it was wats best.


but im dealin till august.
cuz i have no choice.
or at least may 17th...ugh...graduation...
its crazy to think im done.

and wats even crazier for me is that next year....
ill still be in school; but with a different group of folks.
i grew up with the folks in my class....as much as a hate them fuckers.
its gonna be weird sittin in class with other ppl....but its the change i need.

im ready to go somewhere where nobody knows my name.
i can start COMPLETELY over....be whoever i wanna be.
or..in that case...be MYSELF.
i have found that person....but its soooo hard to start over
dealin with the same ppl...same environment....same situations.
it can be done....but...blah...
i have the chance to leave and get that new start....so trust...im takin it.