hypocracy...why?

ok so its homecoming...i went to the game...let some folks get the best of me...and then came home so i kno not to get in anymore trouble smh....im sittin in the livin room with my parents watching my parents get drunk and talk about ppl...that they go to church with...how wrong is that....lik seriously!?!? ugh...n she wonders y i dnt never wanna hang out wit her ass...yea dammit i talk about folks that get on my nerves but not right after i get home from church or choir practice....wtf?!?!?! smh....
blah...blah...blah...
im goin blank...
my mind is slowly flowing out of my ears and down into my heart and givin me heart burn...
my headache is gone but my chest is beginngin to cave in and the pain is....unbareable...
i miss my peace...

my eyes are falling heavy...
i believe it is time for sleep...
my mind wandering and not givin my body time to rest...

they never work with each other...my mind and my heart have always disagreed...ever since my early days....and i dnt think they have plans to reconcile their differences anytime soon...

blah...blah...blah...i miss my peace...but i can see it coming rite now....its slowly making my eyese heavier and heavier and time for...peace.

blah-ness....

....flustered...some pretty strange things have been goin thru my head lately....all i do is daydream in class...sleep when i get home...then get up and go to work...real productive rite?? lolz...not! so im gonna do somethin..kinda productive...[song playing= love by musiq soulchild]...i remember the first time my dad told me that him and my mom were gettin a divorce...he had left for a little while and then came back and sat me on his lap outside on our porch and told me that he was gonna be leaving for awhile...i didnt really get it...but..yeaaa...i think i was lik 8...i miss my dad...i have a "sperm donor" now...he calls when he wants...didnt show up for my bday...didnt tell me about our family reunion...nothin...he wants a friend...i dnt wanna friend...i need [well..past that...more like want] a father...o well...moving on...[song playing= signs of lovemaking by tyrese]...my sister and i used to climb out the window of her bed room and sit on the roof at lik 2 in the morning and smoke...during the summer of 2006...that was the summer that everything changed...that was when i realized that i really didnt need to start growing up...it didnt actually kick in until some things went down but overall that was the best summer of my life...i got my whole "trouble maker" shit out of my system (even tho needless to say i have never been a trouble maker)...i remember like the back of my hand all the other songs that were on the cd that i burned "signs of love making" on...[song playing= lets stay home tonite by joe]...wooooooow...memories...thats really i have to say about that...its amazing how soo many things can change and u never really notice it until its months or years down the road....el fin.

on my only day off....

and i still have to go into that place i call WORK....

humph...

*2 fingers*